?

I may not be able to express my thoughts on this subject in a coherent fashion, so I'll start this post with apologies to those readers who sincerely try to understand what I'm saying and don't succeed.

During a discussion I had with a friend last week, we were arguing over a common friend's behavior in a particular situation. I kept arguing that R's behaviour was wrong and unfair, and I couldn't understand why she behaved the way she did, whereas my friend kept saying that she could understand it, because although she knew R was wrong, she could accept the fact that R was human after all, and people make wrong decisions and do silly and unfair things. On the other hand, I was unable to see beyond R's selfish behaviour, and was finding it difficult to empathise with her.

This got me thinking- I know this a problem I repeatedly face- judging people on the basis of their actions, and allowing this judgement to bias my consequent interactions with them. Why am I incapable of reacting objectively?

I cannot look people in the eye once they've done something to ruin my opinion of them- for example, a selfish act. The irony in the situation is that I'm not exactly scrupulous or unselfish all the time. Hence I don't really understand why I have unreal expectations of righteousness from my friends.

Maybe I'm trying to compensate for the fleeting moments of unscrupulousness, or selfishness, in my own life, that I'm ashamed of, by refusing to accept the same from others. Am I ?