I'm not scared of dying, I'm just scared of doing so before I've gotten the chance to experience all I want to.
Two events in the recent past have prompted me to devote time to such unpleasant thoughts as death and lost chances.
The local train blasts were a rude slap in the face - I might just not make it home on any given day, or worse, be maimed in some horrible way as to render me blind/deaf/disfigured/*other horrible things*
It could well have been me on that Borivili fast. Thank heavens for stomach cramps, that ensured I wasn't able to go to TIFR in the morn; reached the lab so late in the day that I decided not to commute back home.
It got me thinking - At this point in my life I haven't achieved/experienced close to what I would like to have done so by now, and would not be particularly thrilled about exiting the game at this juncture.
I haven't given back at all to those who have done so much for me.
The other incident that prompted this introspection was an accident one of my acquaintances met with. She had a bike accident that resulted in various broken bones, a ruptured lung and serious head injury. To say it was shocking would be an understatement.
About the only good thing that emerged from the entire mishap was that a passerby used her cellphone to contact her friends, instead of walking away with it as was the case with one blast victim.
I cannot imagine what would be going through the mind of a person who decides to walk away with a cellphone handed over by someone unable to dial their relative's number cause their right arm isn't attached to their body anymore.
Her condition seems to be improving *crosses fingers*
I went to meet her a couple of days ago, with another friend. I had been forewarned that she was disoriented and slightly confused about her circumstances, but the friend who accompanied me had no idea, and was understandably a lot more upset.
Watching her mother, brother and very supportive group of friends patiently deal with her irritability (as a result of damage to her frontal lobe) and repetitive cribs/ wails about unreal pains in parts of her body that were not injured in the accident was a revelation.
To think that I expend so much time and energy worrying, almost obsessing over problems that seem trivial the second they have been surpassed. I think I need a dose of some real problems, a reality check of sorts.
*Must not crib about work, the absolute absence of a social life and hajaar exams to be given in the next few months*
OK people, with this I take a break from this blog, atleast until I'm done with the GRE.
See you in October,
Love,
Kate.
